The president’s spouse

The role and expectations of a president’s spouse vary tremendously, depending on the university and the spouse, at least. My spouse, Mary Beth, had her own career (physician) and interests, but participated in many university events. She was unpaid, but her travel costs were generally paid if she had a role at an event (document that role for the IRS, or you may get a very unwelcome tax bill!) I hope some of our experience can inform or reassure you.

I think that the most important issue regarding the spouse is that all parties (president, spouse, board, staff) should be mindful of the role and expectations. A good article on this was published by a former president, Susan Pierce, in Inside HIgher Education. If you are a member of AGB, you can also access a good article by Karen Kaler. There are a couple of books on the topic, but neither my spouse nor I found them particularly useful.

Though I know that your experience will vary, my wife and I met each month with my chief of staff and the office scheduler to discuss events (university and personal) over the next several months; an office staff member kept an Outlook calendar for my spouse and she had a university email account. My wife was not very involved in event planning, such as menu selection, etc-this was done by university staff. She did give feedback on events to staff, and this was generally well-received. My wife developed positive relationships with many donors and their spouses, and enjoyed these interactions. My wife liked interacting with students; she would attend evening dessert receptions we would schedule to talk with residence hall students, Greek students, international students, and other student groups. She enjoyed tours with me (Micron-an Idaho industry, SpaceX-alumnus is chief engineer). Mary Beth attended football games (not her favorite). She attended many musical events (not my favorite-I went only occasionally). She was very active in the community, meeting the mayor, Chamber of Commerce director, etc.

Mary Beth enjoyed participating in the APLU spouse group. I know she would encourage participation in that group, but always wanted more substance and involvement. Her impression is that she was probably more involved than most of the other spouses BOTH in a career and in the university. And, probably much more open and informal-she was amazed that some were shocked she would go to the grocery store in her jeans!

Were there awkward moments? The first day we moved in, a “kindly” neighbor took a picture of our recycling and sent it anonymously to office staff to “help” us realize that our recycling had not been set out properly. Because Mary Beth wanted to practice in a large hospital, she got a position in Boise-300 miles from campus, and bought a small house here. We dealt with the persistent claim that we “lived” in Boise-even though she spent only about 12 days on average there per month, and of course it was important for the University that I travel to Boise frequently-it is the state capital, population center, home to the office of the state board of education, and home to critical industries and many alumni and donors…and we have a campus there! Having a home there made my visits very easy and saved the university thousands in hotel bills, yet was a constant source of disparagement.